Did you know that 19.7 million Americans over the age of twelve struggle with a substance abuse disorder? Despite the widespread prevalence, there is still no easy fix.
This is because finding help for addicts isn’t always straightforward. There are a lot of stigmas around it that cause shame, especially when it comes to addiction and family.
This often causes loved ones to hide the fact that they’re using. While knowing how to help an addict is difficult, it’s still important to recognize the early signs.
That way, you can reach out for support as early as possible. So, what are the signs that your loved one needs help? And how do you provide support without enabling them?
If you want to learn the answer to these questions, and more, then you’re in the right place. In this article, we’ll go over everything you need to know about how to help a loved one with an addiction.
Prolonged use of drugs and alcohol begins to show physical signs on the body. Typically, the more pronounced the signs, the more severe the addiction is. Some of the common physical symptoms include:
Remember that these are just some of the general physical symptoms of severe addiction. Each different type of drug comes with its own set of physical signs of use. If you suspect one, then make sure to research it.
That way, you can look out closely for signs that they may be using. Also, remember that not all physical signs are present. When it comes to alcohol it can be easy to hide the physical symptoms until it gets to advanced stages.
This is especially true for high functioning alcoholics. So, don’t rely solely on physical signs to tell whether or not your loved one needs help.
Addiction is often accompanied by manic emotional states. That means that someone experiences euphoric highs when they find a fix.
But, the minute they enter withdrawal they crash down into new emotional lows.
So, you should always pay attention to a loved one’s emotional demeanor when you suspect they need help. Look for common signs of emotional volatility, like:
If you notice a loved one exhibiting these emotional signs, then it’s important to wait. Don’t bring up the problem when they’re in the middle of an episode.
This will lead to more screaming and potential physical altercations. Instead, wait until they’re in a calmer state of mind to talk about it.
Both drugs and alcohol affect a person’s ability to think clearly. This in turn leads to bad judgment calls and lapses in mental reasoning. Here are some of the psychological signs that a loved one needs help:
Also, remember that psychological signs aren’t always an indicator of addiction. Take binge drinking, for instance. Roughly one in six adults binge drinks at least four times a month.
So, this behavior on its own isn’t necessarily a sign of addiction. But, if they’re engaging with binge drinking on a weekly, or daily basis, then it can be a red flag.
The same goes for talking about suicidal thoughts. While this can be related to addiction, it’s more commonly associated with mental health disorders.
That’s not to say that your loved one doesn’t need help with it. Just that the root of the problem is related to something that isn’t just addiction.
Addiction doesn’t just affect the individual user. It also affects everyone that the person is in a relationship with. This can include romantic partners, family members, friends, coworkers, and even strangers.
Pay attention to how your loved one interacts in social situations. Do you notice a change in the way they’re interacting with people they use to care about?
Remember that by themselves these symptoms don’t always point toward addiction.
More often, they can suggest an undiagnosed mental or social disorder. But, when combined with the other signs, it can clearly show that your loved one needs help.
Now, we know how to identify the signs that a loved one needs help. But, what are the next steps? You might feel compelled to try and force the issue. After all, you want your loved one to get better as soon as possible.
Sadly, half of knowing how to help a loved one with addiction is patience. Recovery will take time. There will be setbacks. You mustn’t give up. Instead, follow the advice in this section.
In it, we’ll lay out some tips that everyone should follow when it comes to addiction and family.
It’s important to not go into this situation blind. Doing so could cause irreparable harm to your loved one. Instead, do your research. There are plenty of free resources that you can find online.
However, we don’t recommend stopping there. If you can afford it, then reach out to a professional. Describe your loved one’s situation to them and ask for advice. Everyone’s experience with addiction is different.
As such, personalized help from a qualified individual can go a long way. Remember that educating yourself is one of the most important things you can do when preventing addiction.
It helps you have empathy for the individual when you feel resentful toward them. And, more importantly, it helps you know what to do and say (also what NOT to do and say).
This can be difficult. Odds are that a loved one has already betrayed your trust through their addiction. Maybe they lied to you about using or quitting drugs.
Or, maybe they stole money from you to pay for their addiction. However, no matter what they did to you, it’s important to try and reestablish trust.
The reality is that addicts are more likely to listen to the people that they trust. So, how do you go about establishing trust? First, let’s go over some things that you should NOT do.
Avoid these behaviors that actively kill trust:
Instead, try and give yourself some perspective. One way to do this is to put yourself in their shoes. For example, what’s going on in this person’s life that might lead them to addiction?
Do they have a genetic predisposition toward addiction? It’s well documented that certain ethnicities, like Native Americans, have higher instances of drug and alcohol abuse disorder than other races.
Despite this fact, we often view addiction as a flaw in character. Get out of this perspective. Addiction is a disease, and it needs to be treated as such. That being said, remember that trust is a two-way street.
It requires effort from both parties. As such, you shouldn’t put up with being a punching bag for unwanted behavior.
Often people want to talk their loved ones out of addictive behaviors before they experience the consequences of them. This is natural. Everyone wants to protect the person they love from pain and suffering.
Unfortunately, these consequences are often necessary. The reality is that people rarely want to change their behavior on their own. Because of this, it will often take a serious consequence to provide a wake-up call.
Maybe this is a night in jail. Or, a lost job. Or, an argument with a loved one is taken too far. Regardless, it’s an important part of the road to recovery. With that being said, there are exceptions to this rule about consequences.
For example, you should intervene if they’re doing something that can hurt both them and others. Driving under the influence is one instance of this.
Don’t invade your loved one’s privacy. That means that you shouldn’t snoop around their room looking for evidence. There is no quicker way to demonize their behavior and abandon trust.
Instead, respect their right to privacy. Be as supportive as you can, but don’t be forceful. Remember that you can never force someone to get sober. They need to come to it on their ground.
All too often, a family member will react negatively when they find out their loved one is abusing substances. While it’s okay to be upset, it’s not okay to criticize or threaten the person you care about.
This is usually done with the best of intentions. Maybe you want to point out how this person’s addiction is affecting others. Or, you want them to get better immediately by providing them with an ultimatum.
Regardless of your reasoning, we recommend against it. Why? Because at the end of the day it does more harm than good. When you criticize an addict’s behavior it causes them to feel shame.
This leads them to question whether or not it’s even possible to quit. Threats are even worse. Ultimatums can force someone into recovery before they’re ready. This sets them up for failure because it causes them to hide their behavior.
Remember that addiction is incredibly stressful. And this stress often causes them to use drugs and alcohol more frequently. So, remove stress from the equation.
Be honest about how you’re feeling. But, don’t force the issue. Remember to let them decide to get clean on their own.
An intervention can be a tricky process. These events are often incredibly emotional. And, all too often the loved one it’s directed at is on the defensive the entire time.
Still, interventions are an important way to get a potentially hidden issue out into the open. More importantly, it can help an addict learn the steps they can begin to take if they want to get better.
There are multiple types of interventions. Some of the popular ones include:
If you want to learn more about these different models, then make sure to check out this resource. Regardless of which model you choose the most important thing is to not go into it alone.
For any intervention, you need the help of a trained professional. This individual will help you create a plan for the intervention. They’ll also act as an unbiased mediator in the likely event that things get emotionally charged.
You also shouldn’t put all of your hope on an intervention. Your loved one will likely continue using drugs and alcohol after it.
What’s important is that you showed them that there is an issue that’s affecting their loved ones. You’ve also put them on the path for treatment if they choose to accept it.
Hopefully, your loved one will eventually want to seek treatment for their addiction. However, this can be a daunting task to face alone. First, they need to find a facility for rehab or detox.
They also need to worry about paying for it and taking time off from work for recovery. That’s not even including the pain and suffering that comes with withdrawal.
All of these factors can cause someone ready for treatment to actively avoid it. As such, we recommend having a plan in place for when your loved one asks for help.
That way, all that they need to worry about is getting better. Research treatment facilities ahead of time. Pick out some good options that are within your or your loved one’s price range.
This will give you some options the second that they come to you. This will prevent the likelihood of them changing their mind.
Drug addiction doesn’t begin and end in rehab. If an addict wants the best chance to be successful, then they’ll need to find a recovery approach that works for them.
There are multiple treatment options for people recovering from drug and alcohol abuse. The right option for them will depend on the nature of the treatment. It will likely also depend on their needs and goals.
Typically, it involves a combination of different things. Here are some of the common treatment options you’ll find:
Sit down with your loved one and a professional a discuss the best course of action when it comes to treatment. We also recommend taking mental health into account. All too often this doesn’t happen.
One study found that of the two million people suffering from opioid addiction 62% had a co-occurring mental illness. That’s not counting 24 percent with a serious mental illness.
Sadly, only 24 percent of these individuals received treatment for both their addiction and their mental illness. When it comes to addiction and mental illness you must battle them together.
So, if you or your loved ones suscept that they may have a mental illness, then it’s time to address it. The best way to do this is through dual diagnosis. That way, professionals can address both mental health disorders and addiction.
We’ve gone over some important ways regarding how to help a loved one with an addiction. But, we’ve forgotten one crucial component: you. The reality is that being in a relationship or a family with an addict is incredibly difficult.
You want to help the individual, but it feels like all you can do is sit and wait. This undoubtedly leads to stress and mental anguish. So, don’t forget about yourself during this process.
You aren’t going through this alone. There are thousands of other partners and family members that are in the same situation. So, seek out support groups. Many exist for the loved ones of addicts.
These groups help provide perspective on your situation. They can also teach you stress management tips for when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
This answer will vary for everyone. It depends on factors like the nature of the addiction and the degree to its progress. However, it’s important to remember that rehab and detox are long-term processes.
Addicts are especially susceptible in the early months of relapse. So, exactly how long should they stay at a facility? Research shows that at least three months of treatment is best.
This amount of time, or longer, offers the best chances for long-term recovery. So, be careful around facilities that claim to addicts get better in a week or two.
These are unrealistic claims. The facilities that give them likely care more about your money than they do about helping your loved one.
Typically we like to view road recovery as a straight and linear path. However, this is rarely the case. The reality is that your loved one is likely to relapse at some point.
This is especially true if they struggle with a severe addiction. When this happens it can be frustrating. It often feels like you’re back at square one. But, it’s important to not look at it this way.
Instead, remember that recovery isn’t a straight road. It often involves twists, turns, and detours.
The solution is to reactivate treatment once they’re ready. Or, if you think the treatment was the problem, look for an alternative form of treatment.
We hope this article taught you how to help a loved one with an addiction. When we think of recovery, we often picture someone going to rehab or detox. Once out they’re either all better, or they’ll start using again.
The reality is that recovery is not that black and white. Everyone’s path is different and there are tons of shades of grey when it comes to sobriety. As such, whatever treatment facility that you choose should be personalized.
Why? Because no two addicts have the same experience when faced with recovery. If you need a place that offers a customized program for your loved one, then look no further than ReAlign Detox.
Here at ReAlign, we know that addiction and family can be complicated. Oftentimes, family members will overemphasize hope and religion to help others get sober. While this is done with the best intentions, it can often cause more harm than good.
That’s why we take a science-based approach to recovery.
That way, we know how to help an addict using research-backed evidence. So, if you live in California and you’re ready to help your loved one, then call us today.
